Anger is one of our many emotions, can be managed.
Anger, is the emotion that nobody can forget the effect on oneself and on others. One of the things I have learned for the past year, on myself and on the people around me is the awareness of anger.
In our daily life, we all encounter things or events that make us angry, such as buses do not show up on time, kids break something that we treasure, the boss that does not treat us fairly, or the next door neighbor keeps mocking on the wall.
I am not to talk about anger management because every person has different background and different method to deal with their emotions. However, I would like to introduce a skill that may help to better manage every emotion you have.
First, anger is a feeling that you have on an event that happens. The event is a fact that is happening or happened, and you may not have the control to change the course of this event. However, what you can alter is the feeling you have. You can choose to yell and be furious at the driver in the car that just passes you on the highway, or even give them the finger. (I plead everyone not to go physical, such as pulling out a gun or get out of your car to smash the other car like a Hulk)
How others behave is out of your control (except that you can punish your kids when they misbehave). What you have control over is your state of mind. You have the liberty and the choice to decide how you want to feel, and let people around you feel.
I remember when I was at brick of quitting my previous job, I was not sleeping well every night because the stress accumulated at work. Sometimes after a day of work, I got home and got angry to the point that I started crying. I did not know that the tears came from the anger and frustration I felt. When I started to learn to understand my emotions, I realized that these emotions are internal and we have to work on these emotions from the inside out.
Next time when the bus does not show up on time, maybe ask yourself to plan to catch the previous bus on schedule so that you always arrive at work earlier and enjoy the extra time doing mindful work.
Any thoughts want to share? I would love to hear!
xx Macy
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